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Scott Sigler – Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Vampire Movies

From AMC Horror Hacker:  I’ve decided I can completely ignore everything my parents ever taught me. Why should I bother with their boring advice when Hollywood gives me all I need to know? Stupid horror teens imparted many lessons about life, as did those ever-so-reliable monster hunters with their timeless wisdom. But for the more esoteric subtleties, you really must sample the tidbits of insight offered by the ultimate icon of horror movies — the vampire.

Blood Is Thicker than Water

Every family has an idiot. If you can’t think of anyone in your family who’s an idiot, then guess what? That’s right: It’s you, because every family has an idiot. And yet that idiot is still family, so you have to go to bat for them, even if they get mixed up with the wrong people. And yeah, that includes the wrong undead people — just ask poor Seth Gecko in From Dusk Till Dawn. His brother Richard takes him into the mouth of Hell, and Seth goes to bat for him. You can’t always save your idiot relative, but dammit, you gotta try, because blood is thicker than water (and apparently much tastier).

Always Look Fabulous!

Why are all vamps dressed so dang well? Apparently there’s no excuse for not looking sharp, and that includes being dead. What’s up with that, Interview with a Vampire peeps? And what’s with the leather body suits, Underworlders? And do you even need to look beyond Bela Lugosi in the original Dracula to see the devastating effect of a sharp-dressed man? Sure, vampires may rip the throats out of their victims and bathe in blood, but I think it’s clear they’re always wearing clean underwear. Their vamp moms should be so proud!

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via AMC – Blogs – Horror Hacker – Scott Sigler – Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Vampire Movies.

Dumb Dudes Die While Leading Ladies Live… Ah, the Sexism of Horror

From Horror Hacker:  When I mention the trite phrase that horror movies are horribly sexist, I bet some female readers of this column shout an instant, fist-pumping “Preach on!” When I clarify that horror movies are horribly sexist against men, that’s when those same ladies decide that this preacher actually spews misogynistic lies. The prevailing belief is that horror flicks are sexist and that the targets are women. But if you do the basic math, the sexism is against men.Let’s look at this from a scientific perspective, and by “scientific” I mean in light of the theories of that early legend of science, Charles Darwin. Maybe you’ve heard of him? He’s the guy who coined that pesky phrase “survival of the fittest.” If only the fittest survive, and most horror movies feature a “final girl,” then what does that say about the genre’s stance on men? Or let’s go at this issue another way: Do you actually think horror movies portray females as weak? Tell that to Halloween’s Laurie Strode. Tell that to Scream’s Sidney Prescott.The winner of any fight is the one left standing — no one cares how you survive, as long as you do. If that survival comes wrapped in screaming, crying, pleading, more crying, running, a little more screaming, tripping, not being able to put the car keys in the lock and then finally sticking a knife in a bad guy? Yeah, you still won. So I don’t care how “weak” a final girl may look, if she’s the one who walks away, she’s the survivor and therefore the fittest.
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via AMC – Blogs – Horror Hacker – Scott Sigler – Dumb Dudes Die While Leading Ladies Live… Ah, the Sexism of Horror.